He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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