We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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