Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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