Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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