Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
