Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
