he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i will never coherently bang her
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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