you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize