are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
