so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
