you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what if I'm pregnant?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions