I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
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her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!