Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
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Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
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I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.