possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.