I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos