I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
