I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize