when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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