I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
