Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
