I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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