I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
