Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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