i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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