THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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