I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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