I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
