Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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