Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
