hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
