this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
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You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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