I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize