She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize