did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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