Your tits are I can't wait for
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
