I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
