bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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