You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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