Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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