Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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