Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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