hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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