i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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