look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
