I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
