You're so nebulous sometimes
Screwed.edu
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
