Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think your dad took our porno
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
