We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
