Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize