her vagine was all disorganized.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize