also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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