I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
