She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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