Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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