My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
