Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
