So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
