I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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