So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
