Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
