Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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