How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
